


You don't have to run

by pinktogrey



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Architecture student Jaehyun, College Student AU, Depression, M/M, law student Taeyong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-10-20 21:44:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10671387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinktogrey/pseuds/pinktogrey
Summary: Taeyong supposedly doesn’t have blank space in his graveyard schedules for Jaehyun, yet the architect major finds his way into his life, for better or worse.





	You don't have to run

**Author's Note:**

> Written for @nctfiesta on twitter and livejournal  
> I edited some parts

Taeyong never forgets what summer is like, even if there are other three seasons he has to live with until the next on comes. Because Ten is summer itself. He meets the younger on his first class as freshman, Property Law 101. Ten has decided that he likes Taeyong’s beret and sits next to him, bats his long lashes confidently as he gives introduction in heavily accented Korean. He’s probably the first and the last Thai Taeyong would ever befriended, rich and smart enough to skip years and study in one of the best law school in South Korea without scholarship. Ten is like summer because his smiles shine like the sun, bright, blinding, warm yet drawing energy out of your body. Just like today, Taeyong is more than ready to pass out from their conversation.

                   

“So I asked John if we should bring some ice cream or cokes, but he said they’re going to prepare everything.”

 

Taeyong bites his straw and slurps his ice coffee. He hates the bitterness spreading on his tongue, but it strokes his sense to life every time. The watch on the café’s wall shows that he still has two hours before his next class. He regrets not arranging more tutoring schedules on Tuesday and Friday. It should’ve given him more income and less Ten’s bullshits.

 

“I’m going to the International Student Division,” Taeyong utters as he gathers his things. “Going to ask Mr Kim if Dong Sicheng could want to have more tutoring sessions since exams are coming.”

 

Ten gave him his unamused look. “Lee Taeyong, you’re writing your graduation thesis. The last thing you could afford is an overgrown baby asking you to translate some manhwa for him.”    

 

Taeyong raised his shoulders. “You’re right. I should spend my time reading references in library instead of coming to your boyfriend’s intercampus League of Legend tournament.”

 

“You need to hang out!” Ten half-yells. “Fuck Johnny’s barbaric game, you need to meet more people!” 

 

Taeyong wipes the table with some tissues provided. “Quality is always more important than quantity. I have you, and cute Sicheng.”

 

Ten huffs. “Taeyong, I’m going back to Thailand after graduation.”

 

The addressed man looks a bit stunned but quickly reveals his gentle smile. “Figure that out. You have always been homesick.”

 

“John is coming with me.” He stirs his cup of smoothies anxiously. “I didn’t expect much, you know. But he said he wants this, and my parents are more than happy to see him.”

 

Taeyong giggled at Ten’s nervousness. “Are you going to get married?”

 

“Maybe yes, maybe no. Marriage is… still a matter ahead in the far future for us.” The older takes Ten’s hand into his. “Promise me you’ll be happy, okay?”

 

Happiness. Taeyong actually wants to laugh at how hypocritical of him, wishing the other happiness when he doesn’t believe in the silly word himself. Being happy for him is so overrated, so unachievable it makes him sick only at the mention of the word. He has tried so hard in the past to be fine, to be happy, to be satisfied, to be grateful, to have reasons to smile so people around him will stop treating him like a piece of broken vase, with edges too sharp that it can gives you bleeding cut. Not even because they care about Taeyong, but because it’s too uncomfortable, too scary for them to witness his downfall. Taeyong knows this better than anyone.

 

“Hey,” Ten calls him out of his trance. “Where were you?”

 

“I’m here,” Taeyong assures.

 

“No, you were not,” Ten sighs. “Please, at least do it for me. I won’t be able to go home in peace knowing I don’t have anyone I can contact to make sure you’re okay.”

 

Taeyong opens his mouth to suggest. “No, anyone but Dong Sicheng, okay?”

 

***

 

He knows he doesn’t have any choice. Maybe, maybe it won’t be that bad. All that ice creams and snacks, only for ten thousands won. Other guys will be too focused in their games they will forget everything about food, more for Taeyong. He takes good look on his bony hands. He has always been skinny but lately lost some weight due to all the time he spent typing words in his precious laptop, carrying all heavy books and documents back and through libraries, visiting his professor for revisions after revisions. Yup, he’s definitely can use some sugars.

 

“Lee Taeyong, we’re going to close in thirty minutes. Makes sure you finish every borrows and returns five minutes before,” warned, Kim Kibum the part time librarian. “Some of you seniors think this place is summer camp or something. Go home and eat bagels, watch Star Wars, get laid…”

 

Taeyong wonders for few seconds if Mr Kim eats bagels and watch Star Wars between making out sessions with his lovers. He gulps down the lukewarm bitter Americano to wash the haziness in his head and proceed to read further pages of “The Road of Chinese Childhood” by C. Stafford. Before entering university, Taeyong has no idea that horror stories of law students spending all day all night surrounded by books is actually true. He feels genuinely tired and fed up at first, but as the time passes he finds those cramming and researching actually helps his mind to forget things, a fairly good distraction that doesn’t involve too much money or too much pain.      

 

“Jung Jaehyun, how many times do I have to tell you that to borrow a conference room you need to submit at least ten copy of ten students ids other than you.”

 

The unamused voice of Mr Kim wakes him up and Taeyong checks his phone for the time. Shit. It’s ten minutes before the closing time. He quickly shoves his laptop into his rucksack and runs to the receptionist carrying everything else.

 

“And we only accept the application before three- Lee Taeyong! Your coffee is dripping on the floor!”

 

Taeyong groans inwardly before putting his belongings on the receptionist desk and starts wiping the mess he makes with pocket tissues. The borrow and returns machines are going to shut itself down automatically soon and then he will have to beg Mr Kim to do everything manually.

 

“Goodness, why are you so clumsy?” Mr Kim kindly pulls out a box of Kleenex then returns his attention to the other student standing in front of him. “Where were we? Ah, yes. If you still want to use the room, come back bringing the required things before three p.m. tomorrow.”

 

“But, Sir, our group project doesn’t even involve five people,” protests the student. “Does that mean we’re not qualified to use one of our own university’s facilities??”

 

Taeyong hurries and swipes his student id’s card into the machine and starts scanning each one of the books in hurry. He grabs the rental eco bag and puts everything inside carefully.

 

“Young man, the rule is the rule. Ask the law kid over there, he’s my personal lawyer, right Taeyong?”

 

Great, another pawn of free _legal_ advice like he’s a fountain of legal knowledge, ready to be tested at anyone’s will and not even getting a cent for it.

 

“Um, I’m sure it has something to do with priorities and the bigger needs of bigger parts of campus communities. Besides, they have smaller rooms with similar props for smaller meetings in building three of Education faculty. You can try borrowing a room there instead?”

 

The other student gives him defeated look. Taeyong sees him thoroughly for the first time. He is tall with raven hair, sturdy and strong. However, he also has a soft looking pale skin and chubby cheeks, and pretty light brown eyes which Taeyong thinks must be colored contacts _. Cute, handsome,_ the law senior mumbles insides. Taeyong says his goodbye and nods his head, exiting the scene as soon as he can.

 

***

 

Ten won’t let them leave his dorm until he makes sure Taeyong put on what the Thai man claims as his cutest sweater (blue and a bit big for Taeyong’s small frame. A Christmas present from last year’s seminar secret santa event) and sexiest black jeans that hugs his almost non-existent butt (birthday present from Ten). Ten would have put some eyeliners and lip gloss on him if he doesn’t keep wriggling, but his best friend has to be satisfied by giving Taeyong an eyebrow trim and BB cream.

 

_I’m not going there to get laid_

_I know. I just want you to look decent and less zombie-fied._

 

Ten drags his body and makes him stand in front of the bathroom mirror. It’s been years since Taeyong ignores how he looks completely. He doesn’t like to be gross and smelly, so he keeps his hygiene level to its max, but he can’t care less about if other people find him attractive or not. There are times when he put quite heavy makeup, tries to build some muscle, even does cringe-worthy obvious flirting to some people. He still regrets how embarrassing his past self is. In the end, it doesn’t give him anything he wants. Does he even know what he really wants?

 

“Johnny is waiting outside, let’s go.”

 

John Suh is Ten’s Korean American boyfriend who majors in International Marketing and also in his senior years. They have conversations in English rather than Korean, leaving Taeyong in the dark when he third-wheels their lunch date once in a while. He drives a fairly comfortable second hand red Toyota Corolla and lives with his roommate, a Korean Canadian Freshman named Mark Lee in small apartment downtown. He seems to think that Taeyong is Ten’s adopted grumpy kitten or something and treats him like one, much to the boyfriend’s amusement.

 

“Hi babe, hi Yongie,” Johnny greets with cheerful, somewhat fatherly tone. Ten kisses Johnny’s cheek and sits next to the driver seat. Taeyong excuses himself to enjoy the spacious back seat all for himself.

 

“I hope you don’t mind but I need to pick up a friend first. It’s Jaehyun, the architect kid. Taeyong, _seat belt_ ,” reminds Johnny.

 

Taeyong groans at how John Suh treats him like a kid. Besides, what’s the point of wearing seat belt if you sit in the back?           

 

“Which one? You know so many of them Bob the Builders,” Ten jokes.

 

“The one you called human Jigglypuff.”

 

This Jaehyun kid sounds cute and squishy. Architecture students are usually not something you call cute and squishy. They are math demons who carry basic knife set, hundred types of pencils, and usually have traveled more than half the globe to visit haunted European houses with their backpacks and have experience of being caught by foreign police for camping on streets of Italy or France. Well, at least that’s what a bunch of architecture majors Taeyong happens to know are.

 

Johnny stops in front of a pretty western style two story house with yellow bricks wall, orange roof, and vast garden filled with pretty flowers. _Rich, rich Jigglypuff_ , mumbles Taeyong. The tall man pushes some button on his iphone’s six plus screen and tells Jaehyun to come out. Not much longer after, someone comes out from the house and waves cheerfully towards the people in the corolla.

 

Taeyong screeches loudly and gets the couple in front of him surprised. He recognizes Jaehyun as the kid from commotion happens two days ago at the library. Jaehyun seems to remember him too because as he opens the car’s door, the architect major’s pupils dilate comically.

 

“You guys know each other?” Ten can no longer hide his surprise once Jaehyun settles besides Taeyong and Johnny starts the engine back.

 

“No, we don’t,” Taeyong opens his mouth fast beating Jaehyun to it. “We just happened to talk once.”

 

“Okay,” Johnny hums and that’s the end of the conversations for Taeyong. He stays quiet as the other three persons talk about people and places he knows nothing off. Sometimes he steals a look or two of the person sitting next to him. Jaehyun looks good in off-white turtle neck and black slacks beneath a dark grey coat. The younger smells quite nice too, the strong scent of fresh air and the sea in summer. The thought to spend on proper perfume or cologne never crosses Taeyong’s mind. Rose scented Febreeze and some deodorant are enough give Taeyong security about how he smells.

 

They arrive at Johnny’s and Mark’s apartment fifteen minutes later. There are already some kids, most of them are men but there’re also some girls, laughing, playing games, eating snacks already. Johnny, kind and gentleman he always is, offers to hang their coats. Taeyong nods in gratefulness and proceeds to look for snack bowls and a space with wall charging unit for him to hide his existence until everyone else’s go home. He finds a comfy chair-sofa and curls up with a bowl of caramel popcorns, ready to read some web-manhwas on his phone when Ten and Jaehyun find him with glasses of different drinks in their hands.  

 

“Coke, sprite, or booze?” offers Ten with gentle smile. Taeyong takes the bubbling black liquids from Ten. Part of his introvert-self sighs in distaste internally when the Ten sits on the chair’s arm and Jaehyun somehow decides to follow and sit on the carpet next to his feet.

 

“So you’re Mr Kim’s personal lawyer right?” Jaehyun tries to lighten the rather cold and rigid mood. “He must be paying you well.”

 

“He’s been kind with me hogging up over some books for months, so…”

 

“We’re writing our graduation thesis right now,” explains Ten. “Taeyong here is going to graduate as the valedictorian of our class year, right?”

 

Jaehyun raises his eyebrows, “Really?”

 

“Ten always exaggerates everything,” Taeyong denies. He’s never comfortable with open praises.

 

“Oh, come on! Everyone knows it’s going to be you. Do you want to know what Taeyong is writing about?” Ten continues his talk excitedly. “Tell me about it.” Jaehyun sounds genuinely interested but Taeyong’s ears must have been fooling him.

 

“He’s studying a case of child custody and relocation laws. Helping those kids with abusive parents and relatives, moving them to better places,” explains Ten proudly. “Taeyong actually could’ve graduated without thesis because he has gotten enough credits and even landed a quite good internship, you know? But my little man here wants to work for National Child Welfare instead of law firm, right buddy?”  

 

“That’s a good cause…” Jaehyun’s praise sounds so sincere that Taeyong curls up even more, like he wishes the chair will swallow him in. “I hope you get the job.”

 

“Ten made it sound cooler than what it actually is,” protests Taeyong. He drinks his coke to hide the unnecessary blush on creeping on his cheeks. He hates how easy for the other persons to get him reacts like this. It must have been the weeks without proper human interactions. “I’m just writing non sense, quoting here and there and explaining something that’s already obvious to any person interested in the subject.”

 

“Sounds like me and every paper I have ever written,” Jaehyun laughes. “I’m sure your thesis will be much more amazing than that.”

 

Jaehyun leaves and comes back and forth to his side that day. _Do you need more popcorns? Nachos? Let me get you some water. Can you show me the restroom? Should we go together? I mean._ The younger man falls asleep in the journey back home, and Taeyong hopes Ten doesn’t catch him staring at how peaceful Jaehyun looks in his sleep. The latter waves goodbye before he enters the house and Taeyong waves back a little.

 

***

 

“Jaehyun asked for your number, so I give him that, your Facebook, and your Kakaotalk,” Ten mutters lightly a week after. “Has he contacted you yet?”

 

Taeyong forgets that there are other students in the men’s restroom. He lets out such loud shriek until a line of people who are using the urinal station turn their heads in curiosity and annoyance. Ten laughs in amusement as Taeyong pushing him out through the door.

 

“Don’t expect me to fly across the ocean and attend your wedding,” threatens the older.

 

Ten rolls his eyes hard. “There will be no wedding for at least the next ten years anyway. What’s wrong with me trying to get you some new friends?!”

 

“Friends,” the older man huffs. “Of course, friends.”

 

“Listen boy, Jaehyun is dating someone right now. I’m not saying I didn’t have the slightest idea to hook you up but he’s straight and he has a girlfriend, ‘Kay? Not all of John’s friends are gay or bi,” Ten explains. “He’s just a good kid and genuinely wants to befriend you. And no, not because he expects you to help him with divorce or properties in the future like some jerks do.”

 

Suddenly Taeyong feels ashamed for his over thinking habits. Jaehyun is straight and he’s dating someone. That’s relieving to know.

 

“And he’s not Chinese, so he doesn’t have to go back home one day to handle his family martial arts business and stuffs.”

 

“What do you have against Sicheng, seriously?”

 

***

 

Taeyong checks his long-forgotten Facebook once he gets home. There are lots of notifications and random people request to be his “friend.” One of them has the profile picture of Spongebob stretching (or dancing ballet, he can’t figure) and its display name is “Jay Jaehyun Jeong.” Taeyong rocks his chair a few times before clicking “accept” button. A few hours later someone sends him a stamp of blue cat with black bob hair whose eyes are sparkling, face flushing, and his (hers?) hands and feet are tangled with each other in Kakaotalk. The display name is simply Jae in Hangul and the profile picture is a mouth-watering meat lover pizza from Domino. Taeyong can’t reply because he’s tutoring Sicheng and he doesn’t want the younger to report him to the International Student Division that he plays with his phone during sessions. Not that Sicheng is a namby-pamby, but Taeyong has just to make sure everything is safe.

 

He waits until they say goodbye in front of the university gate to text Jaehyun back. The message is “read” but it takes several minutes until the latter replies. God, how Taeyong hates the nervousness human relationship gives to his system each time. Jaehyun gives him apology for contacting him out of nowhere. Taeyong makes it clear that he doesn’t mind. Jaehyun asks if Taeyong wants to hang out some times. Taeyong says it’s alright if he has no other schedules. Jaehyun asks when Taeyong will have some free times. Taeyong stops and checks his scheduler. It seems that he will have an hour or two of nothing this Sunday, and he delivers the news to Jaehyun. Jaehyun replies that he knows this really good korean food restaurant near the campus. Taeyong asks if the place is expensive or not. Jaehyun assures him that it’s a friendly place to university student’s wallet. Taeyong sends him “okay.” Jaehyun gives him a set of cute happy stamps of the application’s characters.

 

That short story leads to only-God-knows wherever Jaehyun and Taeyong are now. The younger’s so sure they are getting closer to the restaurant, but that’s what he’s been saying for the past fifteen minutes they spend going round and round the blocks.                

 

“I get this, Hyung. Trust me! Believe me and follow me!” the younger says with fiery eyes. Taeyong can’t help but laughs until his eyes crinkling at Jaehyun’s heroic antics. “Okay Jaehyun-ah! I’ll follow you!” He laughs even more when they keep walking on the same roads. _What a cute clumsy_ , Taeyong whispers in his heart. _I like this silly, clumsy boy_. Ten is right. Maybe he can have one or two friends like Jaehyun in his life. Someone or two that has more important commitment that is not Taeyong to make sure there will be nothing too personal, too demanding. Someone close enough to make him laugh, but not too close to make him cry. A little brother he can care about and spoils a bit. After half an hour they finally manage to reach the shop. Jaehyun smiles in victory and Taeyong notices how cute his dimples are. They order some _takgalbi_ with cheese toppings and seafood soup. Jaehyun eats his rice so well that Taeyong can’t help but scooping more and more portion into the younger’s bowl. The former’s cheeks are filled with food as he chews happily and Taeyong has the strong urge to pinch them. He remembers how Ten refers to Jaehyun as Jigglypuff.       

 

Taeyong sighs as he wipes orange sauce of Jaehyun’s mouth. “You’re just a big baby.”

 

Jaehyun’s face turns one hundred eighty degrees from sunshine and butter ball into a rather unamused, sad smile. “You’re not the first person to say that, Hyung.”

 

 _That’s right._ “That’s right. You have a girlfriend, don’t you? She must be a really good baby-sitter,” Taeyong jokes.

 

“She never treats me like a baby.” Jaehyun shrugs as he wipes his mouth with napkins.  He adds with suggestive, deep tone, “She’s really good at other _things_ , though.”

 

Taeyong’s mouth goes agape. “God, don’t! You’re even worse than Ten or John!”

 

Jaehyun laughs at the older’s reaction. “Come on, Hyung, you must have had wilder experiences on this field than me!”

 

Taeyong shakes his head furiously. If only he had one thousand won every time he had to confirm his zero experience on _that_ field.”

 

The architecture major looks so shocked that it makes Taeyong’s neck heats up. “Fuck, but… You look like the type to… date and stuffs…” Taeyong never understands how others conclude to such far-from-reality opinion.

 

“Well,” Jaehyun suddenly brings his body forwards, putting his palms on his chins like he’s a detective making hypothesis. Taeyong waits and waits for the explanation coming, but the younger just keep on making intense observations, making Taeyong feels small under his gaze.

   

“Do you want some dessert? There’s a really tasty crepes store and I swear it’s just next door so we won’t get lost!”

 

Taeyong’s in disbelief at the younger’s impulsiveness, changing too suddenly from one topic to another (and still has capability of eating even more food). Nevertheless, they end up sharing a strawberry cheese cake crepe with whipped cream topping and Taeyong gets to pinch Jaehyun’s cheeks really hard after he wipes some cream off them.

 

***

 

Taeyong wakes up in his dark room and keens because his body, head to toe is covered in cold sweats. He sits up and spends some time wiping his tears, calming his neurons. _It was just a dream. It was just a really bad dream. Nothing bad is going to happen to you_. He knows he’s lying and telling the truth at the same time. He looks for his phones. Three a.m. He can still get some hours of sleep if he tries hard. _Never mind_. Taeyong gets up and walks slowly out of his bed. He throws his wet clothes into the washing machine, put in the detergent and turns it on. The law major enters his tiny bathroom and let the hot water showers his body. Taeyong sighs. He has this urging need to talk to someone, anyone. No, not just anyone. Anyone won’t do. Anyone won’t understand. Ten. But, Ten must be sleeping soundly in Johnny’s arms. The Thai man must be exhausted too. He can’t afford to bother Ten. Taeyong decides that he will text him tomorrow if he still can’t handle it in the morning.

 

_Jaehyun…_

_Architecture majors usually pull all-nighters to finish their projects, don’t they?_

 

Taeyong’s heart screams objections to the idea. How can he thinks of letting Jaehyun know about this? Maybe it’s the stress that gives him ridiculous ideas. Taeyong just needs distraction so he can thinks properly again. He trembles and swallows screams back into his throat. He can do this. He knows how to handle this. Or, he’s just too tired to be dramatic about this after all these years. The washing machine beeps, warning him that he’s spent about thirty minutes in the shower and he needs to get out soon so the water bills won’t go up too high.

 

“Okay,” Taeyong whispers as he turns off the shower. “Okay…”

 

***

 

 _He’s not getting better. He can’t afford to pull tricks and deceive himself anymore, like he does in the past._ Taeyong is screening words after words of Salvation Versus Liberation: The Movement for Children’s Right in A Historical Context by C. R. Margolin. _He’s been avoiding Ten’s calls and texts for a week_. Professor Choi wants him to revise over his chapter three once more. _Taeyong has requested Mr Kim to find Sicheng another tutor without telling the kid_. He needs to go to the city’s library next Sunday. _Taeyong can’t remember the last time he falls asleep for more than three hours_. He has to reply a junior’s mail about whether he can be the moderator for the next debate club’s session. T _en must be freaking out right now._

_He has to-_

    

Someone taps his shoulder softly and Taeyong’s sight blurs, his mouth goes out of control, filling the whole place with loud, heart-wrenching sound.  

 

“Hyung! Oh God, I didn’t mean to…”

 

_Oh God, he screams like a freak. In the library. He screams like a freak in the library. He’s being freaky in the library!_

 

Jaehyun seems to lose his words. He speaks to a girl with black long hair, telling her to go first without him.

 

 _That must be his girlfiend_ , Taeyong states matter-of-factly as he tries to calm his breathing chest. _The girlfriend who’s great at sex_.

 

“Hyung,” Jaehyun speaks as soft as feathers. _Feathers, soft, pigeons, white, good things, good things_. “I’m really sorry…” Inspissate, warm fingers rubs hot tears off Taeyong’s eyes, but it won’t stop rolling down his cheeks.

 

“What’s wrong with him?” a voice, he recognized as Mr Kim’s asks with worries. “Go have him checked out at the clinic.”

 

Jaehyun helps Taeyong putting his belongings inside his rucksack. “Can you stand up?” the younger asks. When Taeyong doesn’t respond and sits still, Jaehyun squats down and turns his back.

 

“Get on.”  Taeyong shakes his head but Jaehyun’s smile is blinding. It erases every facts and opinions he has just read for the past week off Taeyong’s brain.  　

 

***

 

Some people can’t help but watching with curiosity as Jaehyun walks slowly, carrying a sobbing law senior on his back on campus’ pathway. Taeyong knows he’s wetting Jaehyun’s coat with his tears and someone is going to talk about this somewhere, sometime, but he can’t think.

 

“Hyung, which building your room is?” Jaehyun asks after they arrive in the dormitory area. Taeyong points the right one with his finger. He comes to his senses when they are in the elevator and tugs Jaehyun’s coat, giving signal to the younger to put him down. Taeyong is secretly glad Jaehyun says no to his request. Taeyong doesn’t realize how much he craves for physical contact with another human. That’s his love language. He’s learnt to live without much skinship, romance-wise or platonic ones for such a long time but it’s like eating only plain rice for the rest of your life. You’re not going to die from hunger, but you will always crave for something more, something truly fulfilling.  

 

“Hyung, what’s your room security code?” asks Jaehyun. “Fuck, this dorm is much better than I thought it’d be. I’m really tempted to move in now.”

 

Taeyong nods in agreement as he pushes the buttons. He wonders if Jaehyun’s peeks mean he tries to remember what the combinations are. It’ll be a useless effort though, since Taeyong changes them every month for safety reasons. Then again, why would Jaehyun wants to know his security codes? Taeyong has truly gone silly.

 

Jaehyun takes one good look at Taeyong’s room surroundings before goes ahead and drops the older man on his bed slowly. Taeyong doesn’t fill his room with too much things or furniture. A bed, a writing desk and its chair, a cupboard that the dorm provides. He receives Mark’s old book shelf when the freshman comes from Canada and realizes that Johnny’s apartment isn’t as spacious as he has imagined. That’s that. Ten once insists that it is impossible to law majors not having TV so they can get all news update and tries to buy him one. That’s bullshit because Taeyong knows he only needs one app in his phone and he refuses.

 

“This room,” Jaehyun declares dramatically. “Perhaps is the cleanest male room I have and will ever step my feet into.”

 

Taeyong can’t help but to laugh a bit. “I’m sorry for all the drama. I guess it’s the stress.” That’s half-truth-half-lie. Jaehyun sits near his feet on the bed. “It’s normal. My mother’s period stopped for two months when she was completing her dissertation.”

 

“Your mom’s pe- never mind.”

 

“You should get some sleep.” Jaehyun pats his head fondly. Taeyong’s mouth gets ahead of his head, “Please don’t leave yet.”

 

When Jaehyun’s dimples are showing themselves again, Taeyong knows that Jaehyun will indeed stay.  

 

***

 

He wakes up sometimes later with puffy eyes and sore muscles. The room is dark but Jaehyun is there, sitting on the chair, playing some games with his phone. “Good morning, Hyung,” he greets cheerfully.

 

“What time is it??”

 

“Nine fif- Nine nineteen minutes p.m.. Hungry?”

 

Taeyong is just glad not a day has passed. He yawned a little and stretched. “Not really. I could use some drink, though.”

 

The architecture major pouts. He points out a big grocery bag on Taeyong’s desk. “But I bought some chocolate bars, choco pies, and honey butter chips. Sweets are the best remedies for tiredness.” Jaehyun starts taking out the contents of the plastic bag one by one.

 

“Let me prepare some drink first.” Taeyong gets up slowly from his bed and heads to the mini kitchen he has. He takes out a bowls and pair of mugs, proceeds to pour some barley tea for two of them.

 

“Pour the chips inside this bowl,” he asks the younger. “How much did they cost? I’ll pay half.”

 

“Come on, Hyung. I’m not that petty.”   

  

Taeyong shakes his head in disagreement. “You’re still a university student. Buy me a Lamborghini when you design the next Namsan Tower, okay?”

 

Jaehyun keeps playing with his phone while Taeyong chews through his third choco pie. They barely talk but the silence is somehow comforting. He doesn’t miss how Jaehyun keeps stealing looks to the chip bowl. Taeyong take one piece and offers them to the younger. Jaehyun’s eyes narrow like he’s in despair of deep conflict.

 

“I’m on diet,” confesses the younger. “I actually just bought you everything I wish I could be eating right now, but I can’t.”

 

“Diet?” Taeyong raises his brows in question. “What do you even need to diet for?” He takes a good look at Jaehyun’s proportional body. All the muscles he doesn’t have.

 

“Someone like you will never understand, Hyung,” Jaehyun laments dramatically. “It’s the cheeks, the jaw, the V-line.”

 

“But you look cute,” Taeyong responds simply. Jaehyun reminds Taeyong of human version of teddy bear. Huggable, squishy. In fact, if only they have had more years apart, Taeyong would have been less ashamed to ask for a hug or permission to pet Jaehyun’s head.

 

Jaehyun shakes his head and then surprises the older when he cups Taeyong’s face with both of his hands. “I don’t want to look cute. If only I have your jaw, Hyung…”

 

“Does your girlfriend demand that from you?” Taeyong ponders externally.

 

Jaehyun’s hands are still engulfing Taeyong’s face. “My girlfriend? We broke up. Haven’t I told you that?”

 

Taeyong chokes on his chips, causing him to have severe pain in his throat and coughs madly. Jaehyun steps back hastily to avoid getting spits and post-swallowed food all over his clothes. “It wasn’t working out anyway. Can’t enter the society without one or two heart breaks history, can we?”

 

Taeyong doesn’t know how to respond to that statement. He thinks he must be looking like an idiot right now because he recognizes the way Jaehyun looks at Taeyong as sympathy (or pity?). Then the architecture major _fucking_ coos at him. “How about you, Taeyong hyung? Any girl lucky enough to have your attention out there?”

 

“I told you I don’t have anyone like that at the moment…”

 

“Any lucky boy?”

 

The younger doesn’t push the conversation beyond that. He takes one piece of chips and sighs happily as he bites into it. Taeyong doesn’t let Jaehyun help him with cleaning up. He tells the younger to go back home before he runs out of bus. He leaves after making sure they are going to spend some time the next day. It’s because Jaehyun is that kind of kid; the one who cares about his surroundings, the one who would spend time nursing hurt animals and helping elder people crossing the road. Taeyong understands Jaehyun now, he thinks. He moves around on his cold bed, finding it’s impossible to sleep even though his head is heavy and his entire being scream tiredness.     

 

The memory of heat emitted from Jaehyun’s broad back burned a side of his brain through the night, and Taeyong has never been more scared than right now for the last three years.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are appreciated!


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